Letters to home...taking the good with the bad

July 4th
 hope you guys are having fun on your road trip. thanks for the email. tell carson before he takes off that right now i wish i had a jump rope, a USB, a wrist rocket, a pocket knife, my ipod and all the church videos. let me know how his farewell goes im excited for him. and tell him to give you my guitar back. we had a ward family night this week and i did that lesson where i bought everyone a candybar and made a kid do 7 pushups for everyone for their candy. (the significance of Christs atonement for everyone of us individually) but the problem was that eeryone wanted their candy and didnt care if the poor kid had to muscle 7 more pushups hahaha it was funny so that activity kinda backfired on me. and it kinda tells ya what the people are like here, it was humorus. all the rest of our adventures are tagged with the pics. so hopefully they go thru to you. you should save all my email too if ya can cause im a little bit of a slacker writing in my journal. tell everyone i said hey and have fun on your trip. love you tons.-kode. and im 1/5 of the way done with my mission. times flying huh

July 11
hey ma! thats awesome your trip went so good! i forgot to ask last week who donated to my mission fund? everythings fine down here thismorning we were building a shack for a lady out of bamboo and wire its pretty sweet ill send you a pic when we finish it. today is changes day and at 11 ill find out where im going. so im pretty much pro at making tortillas now. we have another baptism date for the 16th of this month, a little muchacho named luigi. the whether here is starting to cool down and it rains a ton kinda like a mist. and its super muddy. that sucks that terriaki place is gone. at least you got to eat applebeez i have to eat freakin cow stomach its sick! but in that package can you send my ipod please my little touch one i got for christmas and the cord, headphones and the charger. and tell jade to load it up with some enya. and to leave everything else on it, cause i have spanish stuff on it that i need. thanks, but make sure you send it with that lady cause if you send it in the mail to peru itll get robbed. hows everyone doing down there and when does carson get shipped off to prison? chases letter is crazy thats awesome, we gave a priesthood blessing to 2 members last night who were pretty sick, less than 10 minutes later they were perfectly fine it was awesome! we,ve witnessed this miracle tons of times too. everyone thought it was going to be the end of the world here too it was pretty funny. ill spare ya on all the crazy stuff that happens here on a daily basis till when i get home haha. love you talk to ya in a week.-kode

July 18th
hey pa hows it goin? everythings goin down here south of the equator. ya i think my pods in the den somewhere but ill just buy one down here and load it up. so i need about 150-200 bucks in my account and ill take it out next monday. but if you every find it send it with that lady, that´d be awesome. why does she come down so often? the dunes sounded sweet so did you not take your bike? or did jade ride it? is it more fun on my bike with the hard sand or the soft sand? guess what im going on my six month mark sweet huh, 29 more days and im 1/4 done. halelujia. dude i guess ive had the gastrities for 3 months i have no clue what that is in english but it sucks man so im trying to get rid of it by eating a bunch of limes. could you climb choke-cherry on my bike? and hows ridge healing up haha thats pretty funny. i got a new comp last week, he´s been out 15 months and he´s from peru. he´s pretty cool, a nerd but he´s alright, and the prez told me he´s pretty lazy so i have to keep him busy, but its going good. the language is alright hopefully one day ill understand what the heck these people are trying to say haha. ankle is good. how was the washington trip? good luck in august haha that sucks. how many books are you expecting? tonight im making tacos for the prez and his family wish me luck. did you get the tranny in the jeep? talk to ya next monday pa love ya- kode


July 25
we were on our way to the hospital thismorning and the doctors called and said that the mri machine was broken so there going to set me up for another appointment i guess but dang dude thiss suckersz so loose it feels like its goin out and in all day its weird. im typing with one hand too haha and i got one of the packages im stoked to open everrything up

So on July 24th we went to Mom and Dad Martins for Sacrament to hear the homecoming of the Eaves and as we were getting ready to leave we noticed that I had had a missed call, Ken did and Jade did also.  It dawned on us that it could have been Dakotah and sure enough I had a message.  My heart sank as I tried to listen to the broken up call letting us know that he had been hurt.  Right when I was trying to hear what he was saying, he called back.  He had dislocated his arm again on his P-day the Monday earlier while jumping on a trampoline.  They were to take him for an MRI and decide what to do with him.  They were really concerned that he had had problems with his ankle off and on and decided to MRI that also.  The next day on Monday, we learned that the MRI machine was down and he would have to wait a week for the test.  We were able to find the e-mail address for the Mission President and sent him a note.  He called us later that night letting us know that if surgery needed to be performed, there was a fantastic Dr. available and the hospitals in the city were as good as any hospital here in the states.  It helped ease our fears some.  The President is concerned that he may have to have extensive therapy and if that is the case they will send him back.  BACK??  Shouldn't I be overly excited that our first son, the boy who took my heart with him when he left,  may be coming home?? A month ago I would have so said yes but the amazing change that has occurred has helped me see beyond my selfishness and all I want is for the Lord to take our Son and raise him for 18 more months then send him back.  The change that has come over him has been so beautiful and NOTHING I could have ever given him if he stayed.  I am at peace with standing back and watching the spirit touch the spirit of our son and turning him into more than just a man.  Parents can only do so much and where we fall short our Father in Heaven makes up for.  The Atonement is so much more than I ever imagined and so much more than I will EVER comprehend.  It's found in ALL we do and all lessons learned.  His experiences with the Holy Ghost and the humbleness of the Peruvian people has left and continues to leave a mark on the great man he has become and the greater man he can become.   I really pray that he will have the faith required to be well, as well as the faith he has to heal.  For me to wish for him to come home would be such a cheat for him and his future family.  He is a wonderful guy but I can only imagine what he will be when he has done all the missionary work out in the field that the Lord has assigned him to.  If it be enough and he gets sent back, so be it.  The Lord does absolutely nothing that is contrary to the plan he has for each of his Children and since I do not know his plan I will continue to  pray for him.  We are still waiting for results and the outcome of what is going to happen.  As of Monday this is all we know:

Aug 1
hey ma thanks for the letter thats awesome- whats going on up there
anything exciting? i got changed to a new zone with elder coons from
california, were just sitting in the house doing nothing all day its
pretty boring. my arms alright, it feels like it just falls out
sometimes and it kills but i guess the docs are gonna check out the
mri data today and let me know whats up, the mri tube is weird! have
you ever got one? i thought i was suppost to get one today for my
ankle but i havent heard anything, but ya ill let ya know what
happens. ill write you some more next monday or hopefully i can call
ya this week im runniing out of minutes but love you thanks mom your
the best mom in the whole world and i can say that now cause im in the
peruvian world now haha the states rule
hey old man. ya the prez told me he talked to you haha and he said we
sound almost exactly the same he thought he was talking to me. my
shoulders doing alright, i have alot more range but it feels like it
just falls out sometimes and it freakin kills at night i dunno whats
up, and my ankle is jacked its been getting stuck like crazy lately, i
thought i was suppost to get an mri on it today but i havent heard
anything yet, i got one on my shoulder it was crazy i got put in a mri
tube for 40 minutes it was way weird. so he said he wants to get me
opperated on here? dude that would blow re-cuperating here he put me
with another white dude from california and weve just been sitting in
a house all week and its driving me nuts.i think the docs are gonna
check out my mri results on my shoulder today and let me know whats
up. how did your interviews go? that sounds like fun. did you take any
pictures of the ups hub that sound like it would have to be pretty
sweet. hopefullyt ill get to call you guys this week and let ya know
whats up, thanks for celebrating my day without me haha and ya i got
one package but i havent seen the other one yet, who knows. me and
elder coons are going to an american store today to try to find bbq
sauce. keep on truckin, love ya-kode

These things are hard for Moms!  Patience and trust....That's what I need.  That's what's being taught to me.  I'm trying not to let my heart fall apart...to move forward with faith....but why is it that everything around me today is him and it's tugging at my emotions??  I'm sure I could still take him on my lap and in my arms hug and kiss him and tell he can never grown up...but the never grow up part is slippin....Things have changed a bit, he's learned to need me less and his Heavenly Father more, and as it should be.  xooxoxoxoxxoxoxox being sent to my boy.  Another lesson learned as a type...I need my Father more now too.